Eggless But Not Legless
by preposterousnotion
Summary: It started with: "Quinn Fabray has changed her name to Quinn Schuester. Like this. Comment.", and ended with mostly sober friends throwing eggless cake at each other. Quill smut and love within. 2 parts.
1. Chapter 1

Eggless But Not Legless

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: Happy birthday Nicole! Have a good one, and I hope this is alright for you :)

I hope everything is self-explanatory, if not, let me know, and feedback is much appreciated.

Sorry for Britishisms in advance, I cannot help the whole spelling thing, I find it is impossible to unlearn spellings :P

Ruby.

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><p><strong>Part 1 (of 2): Eggless<strong>

The main excuse was that it was Mike Chang's 22nd birthday, and an additional general consensus that the dispersed old-New Directions should make the effort to be all in the same place at once.

Quinn was of the opinion that the only reason everybody found themselves free at such short notice was actually solely due to her recent Facebook update.

They were most likely wondering if it was a joke, a frape, or whether it was just some crazy coincidence that Quinn had changed her surname to that of their former Glee club coach.

And if it was none of these things, they would want to know how long that had been in the making, and had they been completely unaware of something so scandalous happening right under their noses?

The answer would shock them, even if they were speculating it: longer than they could actually confirm, and yes…

After all, Will still worked at McKinley.

There would be hundreds of questions, and she wouldn't tell Will, but she was scared that they would judge her, for not telling them sooner.

For she still was in close contact with Rachel, and Mercedes, and asked Kurt for occasional fashion advice.

He didn't ask for reasons why she needed posh dresses and evening wear when she was assumed not to be secretly engaged, and so she didn't give any.

Will had complained about going himself, maintaining that none of them had found out in over 4 years so why should they find out now?

He was nervous, he told her, seeing as Quinn had never really regained a closeness with her parents, and had instead found a family in the glee club, and ultimately him, but he felt it would be the 'meet the parents' sort of occasion that he'd never had.

Quinn had dispelled the anxiety from his face with a soft kiss to his lips and informed him that they had to go because she was making the cake, and she'd gone to so much trouble already, trying to find a recipe for one without eggs so that Rachel could eat it.

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><p>He approached her from behind as she pushed the cake tin onto the shelf in the oven, sighing softly and encircling her with his arms.<p>

"Are you alright?" She asked gently.

"Finn saw me as a father figure", he blurted out, tensing as the words left his mouth and stepping back quickly.

She spun round to stop him, throwing the oven gloves onto the sideboard and catching his wrists.

He stared down at the floor, embarrassed.

He was always the one telling her that he didn't care what people thought, what they thought of them, of how they met, and what they speculated about the haziness of the length of their relationship.

He had always laughed and said if anyone had a problem with what was in cliché 'true love', then it was their problem, not his.

"_Will_", she murmured, imploringly.

"He loved you", he added, shrugging helplessly.

She frowned. "No… no he didn't… _you_ love me… besides that, everyone else just- just _liked_ me, in a sort of platonic friend way".

He shuffled closer to her.

"Everyone else?"

She made a face. "You know, Puck, Finn, Sam, Finn… Why do you care anyway? We're married!"

He glanced briefly at her deploring wide eyes and scrunched his nose.

"Can't have some fit young college boys ogling at my beautiful wife", he muttered, darkly.

She merely raised her eyebrows at him, a pleasant warming sensation from both his possessiveness and protectiveness.

At just the way he said the word _wife_, in a tone of absolute endearment, with hints of wonder and pride that never failed to have her lips twitching into a smile.

"You're the only young fit gorgeous man allowed", she returned, barely audibly, and Will felt like he still hadn't woken up from the dream that Quinn was his wife and that she loved him so fervently.

"An eggless cake huh?" He said, hugging into her again, relaxing as their bodies naturally moulded into a familiarly comfortable embrace.

"That's…. different…"

She nodded, taking deep breaths of him, resting her head against his chest and closing her eyes to the sound of his heartbeat.

"I'm sorry I'm being so pathetic", he said, more sombrely. "I'm just _desperately _wanting them to be happy for us… because I know how much it would mean to you, and yeah, I think it would be great if we could see people from back then as a couple".

"It wasn't really that long ago", she thought aloud.

"Yeah… It's weird how it feels like a million years ago…" He struggled to find words that described how he felt about that. "The time before Quinn…"

He drifted off, a greyness flitting across his distant expression.

She stretched the neck of his t shirt down to press her lips to the hollow of his neck.

He cupped her face in his hand, eyes boring deep inside her, and he hardly ever said the actual words, but this just meant his undefeatable love meant impossibly more.

Just by not saying he loved her often, made it special, sacred even, when he did.

He'd given love far too easily in the past, and this overshadowed it all.

"How many minutes are left on the timer?" She asked him gruffly, and held him as he dipped her to reach across to see.

"24".

"24", she repeated, stretching out the syllables and returning his questioning gaze unblinkingly.

He grinned suddenly, wickedly, claiming her lips heatedly after whispering her name in a dirty promise in her ear.

When he pulled away, his eyes were smouldering dangerously, and he wet his lips with his tongue.

She answered his unasked question with a tug on his dishevelled curls, suckling his bottom lips before pushing her tongue past it, her right leg curling around his left calf to allow her leverage to push herself entirely flush against him.

"Surprise me", she said against his lips.

He nodded briefly, eagerly, and caught her answering laugh in a swooping and fierce kiss.

She swallowed the laugh as a moan, the fire from his returning passion dancing as flames behind her closed eyelids.

His fingertips, seeking bare skin by pushing up the hem of her smock top, burned a trail between her hip bones, his other hand indulgently squeezing her butt before sliding up her back, thumb hooking in the material to bring it upwards too.

She was entirely too impatient, reddening as she realised her train of thought as she had stirred the bowl of ingredients had drifted to the vivid mental picture of his lean naked body dripping wet and lathered in bubbles to the sound of the water pump of the shower from the adjacent bathroom.

He tore the top over her head as she held her arms eagerly in the air, grasping her wrists as she lowered them and more roughly than was necessary securing them together behind her back.

She didn't realise this until he ended a needy kiss, dragging her bottom lip with his teeth and laughing softly at her amused grin.

"You had an interesting shower", she commented, shuffling backwards until their hands bumped into the cool edge of the kitchen worktop, him mirroring her without thought, trapping her body there.

"More like an interesting feature of a dream I had last night", he offered, eyes roving hungrily down from her face, dragging slowly back up to hers.

"A _very_ interesting dream", he added, dropping his voice to a low seductive purr.

"Was I in it?" Quinn asked cheekily, her eyes twinkling.

"Erm…"

She kneed his thigh in mock retort, and he fell forward, crushing her, in an overdramatic reaction.

She circled her hips, and his hands flew down to still them, thumbs digging into her hipbones.

"My rules", he said darkly, grasping behind her for the dish-towel and deftly tying a loose knot around her wrists, and kissing her fleetingly, with not near enough pressure to pacify her. "Don't move".

She whimpered, screwing her eyes shut with the overwhelming need to reach out for him.

She felt him nuzzle at her neck.

"Is this okay?" He whispered, almost conspiratorily, then something like "So hot", as she hummed an obvious yes in return and forced open her heavy eyelids.

She swallowed scratchily at the positively ravenous expression he had trained on her.

The eggless cake was instantly forgotten.

The air hung thick and heavy with anticipation, and with every breath, it scorched right through her, coiling deep in her abdomen.

She stared back at him, challenging him, testing his self-control as she stood there in her favourite (and incidently his favourite) baby blue lacy bra and grey sweat pants, obediently still and waiting for him to claim her.

He blinked at her lazily, his forefingers drawing down her sides as he stepped backwards away from her.

"_Will", _she whined impatiently, flicking her eyes pointedly to his crotch.

Any distance between them was much too far.

She moved her legs against each other uncomfortably.

Holding smouldering eye contact he pulled his t shirt over his head, further revealing his own eagerness with his haste, and kicked off his own sweat pants, nearly tripping back over them as he approached her dressed only in his boxers, pausing only for a moment before gripping her face in both hands and kissing her forcefully.

She opened her mouth to him, granting his tongue instant access and returning the desperation of the kiss with enthusiasm.

His skin tingled where he imagined her hands to be exploring, and his hands fisted in her hair to prevent the kiss from ending until oxygen became truly vital.

He pulled away, gasping for air for only a few breaths before beginning an assault on the sensitive skin just above her collar bone, sucking hard where he knew the neckline of her dress wouldn't cover.

She was so carried away by the bombardment of physical and emotional passion that she didn't care.

He let go of her hair, sliding skilled fingers down to the clasp of her bra and releasing it deftly, arching away from having as much skin in contact as possible to allow the lacy garment to fall to the floor.

He kissed a purposeful pathway to the divide of her breasts, halting its progress to lavishly favour each hallowed mound in turn, swirling his tongue over nipples to bring them to pointed peaks.

She moaned throatily, his name uttered in the filthiest tone she could manage, and he responded in kind with his fingernails digging into her hips with a pleasurable pain, resisting the urge to release her, to have her touch him like he knew she could. He finally continued southwards, sweet butterfly kisses and tongue tasting as he gradually knelt before her.

He glanced upwards at her, a vision as she struggled not to wrench herself free from her bounds.

He pressed a hot kiss just below her navel, a kiss full of intention, accompanied with another lustful look into her pleading eyes.

"So hot", he repeated, huskily. "So beautiful".

His thumbs hooked into the waistband of her sweat pants, pulling them down together with her underwear in a flourish, hands running the length of her smooth long legs to unhook the bottoms from her feet.

She groaned again, even though he wasn't touching her at the time, at just the sight of him, surveying her so reverently.

Calloused fingers rubbed teasing circles at the back of her knees, starting here with open mouthed kisses to ascend to her inner thighs, switching from one leg to the other, leaving no spot of pale skin void of his attentions.

He neared where she wanted him most, her heart rate ever increasing with every millimetre.

Without warning, he pushed a finger deep inside her, and she gasped at the sudden release of desire, twisting up inside her and bursting into a million tiny flames as he added another in quick succession, thrusting them a few times in a delightful direction, before removing them both, much too quickly.

He spoke her name adoringly as he pushed his mouth onto her aching wet heat, and all she could do was surrender herself to him, a wash of pleasure at every tiny noise he made, the coiling readiness compressing with every loving swipe of his tongue and gentle nip.

She urged him on with the repetition of his name growing louder, finally stopping completely and just letting out a long drawn out moan, toes curling at nothing and shoulders shuddering as she writhed above him, unable to prevent herself from bucking as he lapped.

He watched her as she drifted beautifully down from the stars, shakily pulling himself to his feet, dropping his boxers and kicking them away.

She let out a harsh breath as he untied her in one movement, and used the cloth and his arm to sweep the array of cooking utensils waiting on the side to be washed up.

They scattered randomly, some falling to the fall with a satisfying crashing sound.

He lifted her up quickly to perch on the sideboard and kissed her languidly, sure to have her taste herself on his tongue before he ended the kiss to press his forehead against hers, trying to maintain control but finding it nearly impossible when her fingers were caressing every bare inch of him she could reach, as though she needed to rememerise every contour of his lithe form.

He was always already entirely committed to memory.

"Will please", she said breathlessly, blowing over his face, contorted in the attempt to even his erratic breathing. "Enough teasing".

He seemed to agree, finding a strength to lift her up as though it were no effort at all, and holding her briefly raised above him, murmuring her name as both the question and the answer.

She wrapped her legs around him, forcing him closer, and he grunted as he grazed her entrance, carefully lowering her and sheathing himself inside her, muffling his own moan in unison with hers by crashing their lips messily together.

Somehow he made it over to the free standing fridge, her sweat slick back cooled by its door's surface.

Somehow this led to neither of them hearing the oven timer beeping.

Quinn hoped that the impressive fact that the cake was eggless would win over the fact that it was also corner-less, due to those being slightly too dark brown for consumption.

She would blame him, but it was at least half her own fault. She wouldn't have it any other way.

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><p>Please review :)<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Eggless But Not Legless

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from glee.

AN: Part 2. Predictably titled :P Thanks for reading.

Ruby.

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><p><strong>Part 2: Not Legless<strong>

Brittany arrived just before Will and Quinn, approaching Mike and wishing him happy birthday.

"So is it your birthday today then?" She asked, nibbling daintily on a carrot stick.

"Not exactly… It was actually about 3 weeks ago…"

"Oh".

"Britts we're all here because of some frape that Quinn got", Santana said, matter of factly, coming up behind her.

"Oh have you bet?" Mike questioned, surprised with her choice, "I think Finn's taking money over by the drinks table".

"She changed her name to Quinn Schuester", Santana explained further, noticing Brittany's blank expression. "Or at least, someone did".

"Oh! Just like Mr Schuester".

But no one was listening, a dramatic sudden silence falling over the entire room as the last arrivals appeared in the doorway, hand in hand, looking for all the world as though they were expecting to be pelted with tomatoes.

Everyone looked at each other, and both Will and Quinn watched in confusion as bills started to be surreptitiously passed round in Finn's direction.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

Rachel jumped to her feet, a show smile covering her surprise/disgust at losing $10, and her vision set on being a good hostess.

"Here, let me take that from you Quinn", she offered, stretching out her hands.

She turned hastily to place the cake on the edge of the table loaded with an intriguing selection of tin foil covered bowls and various plastic boxes.

Her unexpected hug forced Quinn to drop her reassuring clutch on Will's hand, and at once, as though this was the cue, they were separately bombarded with hugs and fist pumps, and garbled life stories all at once from all directions.

With a doubtful glance over at her husband, who was at that moment being instructed to feel Puck's new haircut ("Go on, touch it, you know you want to"), Quinn reluctantly followed Santana in the direction of the bathroom, following orders from Brittany to be shown her new tattoo.

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><p>It wasn't until after lunch that Will finally managed to excuse himself from Finn and Sam's very unnecessarily detailed rendition of their recent trip to the park to play catch and eat hotdogs, catching sight of Quinn escaping to the bathroom, calling promises over her shoulder that she would look at the photographs when she returned.<p>

He dashed out of the lounge before anyone could stop him, catching her up and overtaking her, running straight into the bathroom and grabbing her arm to drag her inside with him.

He shut the door and leaned back against it, sighing deeply.

Quinn gave a dry laugh.

"Do I have a sign on me, or something, that begs anyone who talks to me to think of the most disinteresting thing they have done since the last time they saw me, and make it 10 times more boring and tell me all about it?"

She laughed again, encircling his waist with her arms.

With a sudden twirl, he had her trapped against the door, fiercely kissing her open mouth over and over, before melting into a leisurely exploration of her mouth with his tongue, caressing her neck with a warm hand, the other bracing himself on the doorframe.

There was a hint of sadness in his expression as he pulled away, before he pushed his face into the crook of her neck, taking deep calming breaths and allowing her embrace to soothe him.

"I really do need to pee Will", she said, breathlessly, "You're pressing on my bladder".

"Oh… sorry", he released her, fiddling absent-mindedly with the handwash and moisturiser on the sink.

"Look, maybe it's better this way… no one's fighting, no one's asking inappropriate questions of either of us…"

"But they're pretending as though absolutely nothing has changed!" He interrupted, holding up his hands. "It's exhausting trying to steer the conversation away from Puck's sister's strange rash so that I can talk about you!"

He paused.

"At least if they were not-so-subtly talking about age gaps, or _anything_… I could swoop in there with all the little speeches I stayed awake half the night thinking about!"

Quinn dried her hands and moved behind him to massage his tense shoulders.

"Let's just go back out there and endure it a bit more… I'll try a little harder to hijack the conversation, just now there was an almost chance, I should have been quicker when Santana was bragging about some of the weird places she'd had sex…"

Will blushed reservedly.

"Yeah well, just don't mention the choir room", he said gruffly, "It was bad enough trying to convince everyone that you underwear just dropped out of your bag".

Quinn snorted.

"Yeah, that racy lacy pair that I 'carried round just in case'… "

"I always did wonder how you got away with saying that", he chuckled.

She smiled. "We better go out there", she said reluctantly, "But if I have to sit through another review of Rachel's, I am marching over to you and snogging you senseless… that should get them started".

He kissed her softly.

"Have I told you yet today that you look completely gorgeous", he murmured, ghosting his lips over her eyelids as she closed them.

She inhaled contentedly.

"Only a few times".

As he moved away, she pulled him back, kissing him hungrily, fisting his shirt to bring him closer.

Temporarily resting heat threatened to rise inside her as he responded with an eagerness he would always have for her.

She forced it down knowing full well how volatile it could be if she so much as allowed him to tend to the fire, knowing the best way for them to raise the subject of their marriage was probably not for someone to walk in on them testing out the strength of the bathroom furniture.

She nibbled his lips gently, her eyes darkening and her rationality wavering as he gazed back at her, lips pink and eyelids heavy.

"Okay let's go", she said half-heartedly. "The quicker we get everything out in the open, the quicker you can check to see if today I am wearing similarly racy lacy underwear as was discovered by Artie underneath the piano".

He squeezed her hand briefly.

"I look forward to it", he said cheekily.

She ran her hands through his hair, mainly because it had flattened slightly, leaning against the door, but also because she wanted to make a point.

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><p>Back in the lounge, the conversation was wearing thin, nobody daring to bring up the subject that everyone was avoiding.<p>

Rachel was trying to distract everybody with cake, bustling around with napkins.

"Quinn! Would you like some of your cake! It's delicious by the way!"

"Thanks, yeah I'll have some… I've never made eggless cake before, I'm glad it's edible".

"Will?"

He shuffled closer to Quinn, sliding a hand to rest on her lower back.

"Just give Quinn an extra big piece", he suggested, "So I can try a little bit".

Rachel shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, with a sideways glance to Mercedes, who was sitting nearest on the arm of the couch.

"Were-you-drunk-in-Vegas-or-something?"

"What?"

Will frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No! _No_. And, since you asked, yes the wedding was lovely thank you, we married in Greece, on the beach actually, at sunset, and it was beautiful".

Rachel eyed him suspiciously.

"Are you drunk now?"

Quinn was faster answering.

"_NO_!"

Will turned slightly, so that he was facing everyone.

"Look, Quinn and I are married, and I'd really appreciate it if instead of pretending that you don't know anything, you could all just grow up a little bit and be happy, or at least pretend to be…"

He glanced at his wife, who was nervously biting her lip.

"I love Quinn", he said fiercely, "And now that you can, I care if you guys can find it in you to give us your blessing for something that makes me so incredibly happy".

With a quick flash of anger, he reached to break a piece off Quinn's plate of cake, throwing it accurately onto Puck's forehead.

"Stop gawking at us like that", he mumbled, looking himself down at the ground as though he wished it would swallow him up.

A second later, he felt something land on the top of his head, and reached up to discover the returned crumbling morsel.

He glared at Puck, who held his hands up in mock surrender.

"You love her", he said simply, "Like – for real… that's good enough for me… so congrats".

Will's face broke into a grin.

"Thank you", he said.

Another cake grenade, this time landing stickily on his shoulder.

Quinn brushed it off with a grin, kissing the mark on his shirt.

Finn spoke up, and she felt Will swell with every word.

"I guess we just thought it was a joke", he admitted with a shrug, "I definitely didn't know what to say when you two walked through the door looking like you are genuinely all cute and romantic with each other… I'm glad you have both finally found the person that deserves you, really I am, and if everyone else agrees, I wanna buy you guys a belated wedding present with the money I made".

"Thanks Finn", Will said gratefully, "And maybe for our one year anniversary? We've been married for 11 months now."

Puck nudged Santana next to him, and all at once, bits of cake, and some crusts from finger sandwiches, were raining over the couple, shouts of congratulations and suggestions of double dates.

Quinn thought it was really just an excuse for a food fight.

But since it cumulated in a general consensus that any hard feelings were down to jealousy, she grabbed a handful of carrot sticks and joined in.

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><p>Please review :)<p> 


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